Jr. High & High School Life in China

Two weeks ago I met a high school junior in her school uniform at a walk-in noodle restaurant. We we both by ourselves so we sat down together. She took the initiative to serve me some hot peppers and soup which, to my ignorance, were included. We chatted a little bit, exchanged contact info, and went our ways. She called me a few days ago to invite me to a singing competition at her school. I wasn’t particularly excited about going to watch high-schoolers sing, but I’m glad I did. I met her at her school at the time she specified and discovered that all the students were already seated. She then escorted me to her class’s section near the front of the crowd. Being a foreigner in China, this drew huge attention from everyone and probably gave my student friend a lot of “face” (the Asian concept of face has some relationship with standing, respect, “props,” etc.). I didn’t quite know the purpose of the event but found out it was related to the promotion of Chinese nationalism, one of those “we love our country” days. The historical root came about in 1935 when many university students in Beijing unified themselves against a government that willingly allowed the Japanese into Northeastern China. I was struck with how different this activity was than anything I ever experienced in high school. For one, how many schools enforce uniforms at the high school level? Also, I found that many students took this event as an opportunity to study. I can’t even imagine that happening in my own high school. One of the driving forces for Chinese students is that since there are so many of them, only a small percentage get accepted at higher levels. The way China has traditionally evaluated students is through written tests, especially before graduating junior high and high school. It amazes me that many seniors know exactly how many days until their high school exit exam—and it’s still 170-something days away! For Chinese youth, education is life. A lot of them leave school around midnight, get home (if they don’t live at school), go to bed, and wake up around 6AM. They have mandatory classes and study times in the evening and on weekends. I ran into a student one Sunday ago with her school uniform on. I asked if they ever had a day off. I know they didn’t have Saturday off but I wasn’t sure about Sunday. So I asked her why she was wearing her school uniform on Sunday if this was her day off and she said she had to make up classes. It does seem to be the case that for Jr. high students, they “get off” Friday and Saturday evenings. When I asked what they do in their free time, they said they “do homework.” Students will readily admit that a student’s life is “painstaking,” but also empathize with the system and tell you, “There are too many Chinese people. The competition is too intense. It’s the only way.”At one point in the morning my friend pulled out the day’s program and asked me if I could identify which class was hers on the singing roster. Since it was all in Chinese, I failed to find it. But when she pointed it out, I noticed that her name was listed as the class’s conductor. She had told me at the when I first arrived that she would no longer be participating, but I assumed this mean she wouldn’t be singing. As it turns out, she had rehearsed as the conductor up until the week of the event when her teacher let someone else have the position. The reasoning: she was “too small.” I thought she was referring to age since stature isn’t a major issue here, but she clarified that it wasn’t age but size. When I discovered she was disappointed by this last minute change, and knowing that many times Chinese will tell you something bogus just to “save face,” I probed for a better explanation. In the process, I found out she did not want to her tell mother about this. On this morning when her mother saw her wearing her school uniform, she asked what clothes she would be wearing as conductor. My friend just told her that she planned to borrow some at school. For whatever the reason, she didn’t want her mother to know. I began to gather that this was a painful experience for this young girl and before long, she began to cry. She said her teacher tried to console by an educational lesson about the future—namely that disappointments happen in life often in our society, perhaps something like a “life’s not fair” speech. But it was evident that this young girl still felt the pain. I guess if it’s not Japanese aggression, it’s examination pressure or personal rejection...

A Christian's Orientation to Time

Recently I've been thinking about my perspective of time. How do I see it? Am I past, present, or future-oriented? How does this orientation influence the decisions I make daily? I have to credit Philip Zimbardo for stimulating my thinking in this area; but my Heavenly Father is the one who ultimately initiated this and I went searching the web for articles related to how Christians view time using the search string "a Christian's orientation to time."

Before I share more about theory, let me share two experiences.

(1) I found it quite interesting--one of those moments when you wonder what God is trying to say--that last week during my evening prayer time, my clock fell down off the wall and shattered on the ground. Why did it have to fall during my prayer time? Why did the clock fall and shatter instead of the four pictures that are below it? One thing you must know is that often my prayer time, and whole relationship with God, can be very dutiful. I have been recently praying for an hour in the evenings, and sometimes, I glance at the clock hoping the time will end. This is nothing new for me. But what does that say about my intimacy with Father? When I attended a workshop on relational skills, I was introduced to a concept called "relationship killers." One of those is frequently looking at one's watch while spending time with another. It seems this is often what I do in my devotional times. And while this does not "kill" my relationship with my Father because of Jesus' work on the cross, praise Him, I do believe there is much more in terms of having an intimate relationship with Him.

(2) Yesterday two friends came and cooked together in my apartment. While we were shopping at the market and cooking at my place, I got very frustrated. I realized it was because I felt like we very being very inefficient. I wanted to study Chinese during the evening, and at the rate we were going, I'd never get anything done (and I didn't). This frustration really affected my attitude towards them. I grew impatient with one of them and was not particularly loving nor gentle. I was convicted of that this morning and called to apologize.

As I have been reading articles about time and thinking through it, I realize that I'm extremely future-oriented. I fit all the descriptions of a future-oriented person: I'm frequently thinking about meeting goals; right now those regard learning Chinese. I tend to save money, delay gratification, study hard in school, take care of my body (floss, take vitamins, exercise), think much about efficiency (I just bought a bike saving me 20 minutes on my daily commute) and struggle with anxiety. While some of these are good, I can tell that my orientation causes me to squeeze out relationships and miss out on some of the joys of the present. Future-oriented people can also become workaholics if not careful. Christ did not have such an orientation. Not that He floated in the wind; He most surely had direction and purpose. But I believe He was willing to be "bothered" by someone in need and to take out the necessary time for relationships and discipleship. I'm not there yet. But thankfully, Father has His hand on me in this area, and thus I am sure I will grow.

For a brief introduction and to get your mind thinking more along these lines, here's a good video to get you started:  FORA.tv - Philip Zimbardo: The Time Paradox. Feel free to comment...

Here are some questions I'm asking:
* when does a future orientation go too far?
* how does one balance living in the present and yet oriented towards the future?
* what is it about my family, culture, and education that has contributed to such an extreme future-orientation?

Blessings...

Journey With Bill - Intro

Dear friend,

I first wanted to introduce my website (blog) and what purpose I hope it will serve. I have for some time now wanted to have a blog, but I also know that I am not someone who will be posting and checking it daily. I tend to get busy and my internet time is limited; but I have felt from time to time that there are matters I would like to make public or that the Lord would like me to share (and I don't feel comfortable loading up everybody's email in-box). My interest isn't in airing my opinions—I simply would like to publicize some aspects of my life and journey with others who would like to know more and join me on a deeper level. I hope that my posts—as irregular as they are—will be encouraging, thought-provoking, challenging, or helpful as God directs. Perhaps some of them will simply be cries for help or prayer or just more insight into my journey. Please feel free to leave comments. I tend to ask questions, which to some seem redundant and to others disturbing—sometimes to myself as well—but I believe to be at least fairly important. For such questions, I again welcome your feedback. Living overseas is full of new experiences and challenges. But it also makes for some good stories and memories. Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to share the details of my work publicly. I am living in a restricted-access country under a government that wants total control and the knowledge of Jesus limited. Therefore, I would urge you NOT to include details of my whereabouts and/or my work. I would rather keep things general and personal regarding issues that are relevant everywhere, not just here. Here are some helpful tips to get you started:

1. I'll be breaking one of the golden rules of blogging by not updating by blog frequently. This means that if you come by from time to time, you may find nothing new. However, instead of never returning again, what I would prefer to do is to ask you to sign up to receive notifications when I make new posts. This way you only need to stop by when there's something to read. You can do this by adding your email address under "Google groups" in the upper-right. You may also make comments for any of my posts. You can change your email preferences at any time or unsubscribe if you don't find it worthwhile.

2. You can also "Follow" (see right panel). Followers are "fans" or regulars of the blog. You can see and interact with others who are also followers. However, becoming a follower will not add you to the email list. You must sign up under Google groups to receive emails of new posts.

Be blessed, and glad you stopped by! :)

Bill